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He had a passion for playing dress up, hysterical mood swings, and an unapologetic pride of his prodigious rump. The Red Guy always stood out to me (and everyone with a head) as really, really queer.
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I’m a nineties kid, so the Cartoon Network evening lineup was part of my daily routine. If I could ask him anything: why the metal harness and where can I get one? The Red Guy (Cow & Chicken)
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Now, now, I know that superheroes often opt for skimpy and flamboyat customes, but He-man’s alter ego wore full body tights and a pink shirt two sizes too small. His tiger, Cringer, was an even bigger diva I’m talking cowardly lion after pride weekend in WeHo. But the guy was just happy running around in a fauxfur jockstrap wrestling other skimpily clothed men. He-Man, 6’3 and 280 pounds of blonde muscle, was just too queeny for my taste, and that should tell you something. Usually I would just catch the last five minutes of the show while I waited for She-Ra to begin (He-Man’s equally queer and fabulous sister, except she hung out with mermaids, fairies and unicorns, so, naturally, I was a fan). Now I was never really much of a He-Man fan. Speaking of queens, here are the most outrageous of them all. some guys have all the luck… Prince Adam and Cringer (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe) But Race came to the rescue every time, all because he loved his hot and spicy redhead. Family vacations to Egypt, coordinated outfits, matching pajamas for heavens sake! If you really think about it, Race had a pretty crummy job: the pay could not have been very good, Jonny was a total spaz, and Benton a damsel in distress if there ever was one (kidnapped more times then Peach and Zelda combined). Really, where were the women in this show? They were superfluous to Benton and Race, who happily lived each of their adventures with their little boys and aptly named pup, ‘bandit’. I mean, does Mister Rocket Scientist really need a bodyguard/pilot/babysitter/roommate around him 24/7? That sounds like a husband to me. There’s plenty of ambiguously queer animals, bright-eyed twinks and outrageous queens bouncing around, but these two men raised a family together. And as for Catwoman, she makes me blush, she does not count!īenton Quest and Race Bannon (Jonny Quest) You have to imagine Robin complaining to batman a la “I Love Lucy”: Bruce why can’t I be on the show? Bruce why can’t I be on the show? All right, all right, you can be a superhero too, now shut up and give me some sugar.īatgirl? She’s just an annoying third wheel. Even those in hardcore denial have a difficult time explaining why a millionaire bachelor keeps a bouncy acrobat as a sidekick, despite not having any discernible talent. Just in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last 60 years (or your gaydar is more useless than mine) here is another arbitrary list of gay cartoon characters.īruce Wayne and Dick Grayson (Batman & Robin)Ī classic couple. I loved or hated them even before knowing what ‘gay’ meant and needed no one to out them for me. All these guys mean a lot to me, because I grew up with them. Call me biased but, while composing the girls’ list was fun from beginning to end, this list made me feel… nostalgic. So we had the ladies last week, now it’s the guys’ turn.